In two and a half months I have to leave everything that I just worked so hard to create.
No, I’m not leaving home.
I’m leaving my new home.
661 days ago I left my hometown and went west with a uHaul full of stuff and a new apartment in Nashville, Tennessee. The drive took 18 hours and we had a caravan of three cars, one uHaul truck, three girls, and two Dad’s.
I’m not sure if I was looking for myself, my purpose, or just a grand adventure, but somehow I found them all.
Leaving home and creating a life for myself somewhere brand new brought me through some terribly tough days-days where lots of tears were shed and more frusterations than I’d ever experienced. Yet, with the lowest came the highest highs-days that I’ll cherish and moments that made me know I was living my life to the fullest extent.
It was in this roller coaster ride of low and high days that everything changed.
I realized that I didn’t want a “regular job.”
I came to terms with how badly I wanted to follow my dreams.
I started writing.
I said yes to any and all adventures.
I listened to what other people said about life.
I put all bets on myself.
Oddly, there came an emotion that I hadn’t seen coming, relief.
When I dove full heartedly into my dreams-a path opened up for me.
Once I knew what it was that I wanted to pursue, the lifestyle I wanted to live, and the adventures I wanted to experiencee-I was changed. For the first time I was able to see the finish line and get a grasp on how I was going to get there.
And in the most relieving way possible-my world got smaller.
I felt as if I’d been standing in Times Square for four years. It was like I’d been looking at 20 TV screens on skyscrapers, cowboys walking around naked, street performers, hustlers, and more for the last four years-and trying to make sense of it all. On top of that, I was completely lost as to where I was going to fit in to all the chaos.
When I moved and was forced to do some serious life reflection, I stumbled right into the life of my dreams.
That stumble was like shutting out all the lights in Time Square. Suddenly-it was pitch black and there wasn’t anyone on the street except for me. Then, a light came on-one single TV moniter.
For the first time in my life, I was seeing the light. I wasn’t distracted by all of the extra noise. I saw what I needed to do and who I needed to be to get to where I wanted to be.
The chaos of the rest of the world is now silent to me. Instead of spending everyday trying to watch every TV moniter, watch every street performance, haggle with every hustler, and maybe catch a glimpse of a cowboy-I have one focus only.
My world is smaller now and because I am no longer effected by the flashing lights, I know where I need to be looking and it’s increased my life experience ten fold. The adventures find me, the love finds me, the happiness finds me and daily I get to think of how that one decision to move 1,000 miles away brought this to me.
It created a structure for my lifestyle, for my future relationships, and for the impact I want to have.
In the strangest way possible, my world becoming smaller has made my world times bigger.
It has shown me the real opportunities that I had been blind to before. It has given me a craving for new sights and landscapes. It has pushed me to talk to new people and learn more stories.
So, I think it’s time to do it again.
In 56 days I’m going to start traveling the world. I have a backpack, a ticket and a dream. After reaping the benefits of a 1,000 mile move-my heart does a happy dance at the thought of an around the globe adventure.
This time around, I’m welcoming the tough days and counting down the seconds until the best days. I’m avoiding expectation and opening my arms to trusting. I’m ready to start the process again, accidentally finding myself, my purpose and adventure along the way.
Most of all, I’m ready to feel my world crunch smaller again as I shut off more chaos and contine to narrow in on the life that I’m dreaming of.
Life, you are such a beautiful thing.