The advice you never thought you’d hear: Embrace it.
A few days ago I was talking to one of my close friends about her job. She’s a nurse right now and the hospital that she works at has a massive shortage of RN’s meaning that every shift she works puts her in the weeds (that’s restaurant slang for-busy AF).
The other day she came home and said, “today I cried in the stairwell.”
My initial reaction was of course to feel terrible for her, she loves her career but her current job is pushing her too far.
Yet, on second thought I realized that as much as I felt badly for her,
I was proud of her.
It made me realize that there was a conscious habit that I had picked up along the way that I was currently overlooking.
This habit is a huge aspect in my emotional intelligence (I can physically see a massive difference in the way that I am able to handle emotionally tough situations a year ago versus now).
This habit is my conscious decision to be sad when I feel sad.
When I feel like I am in a funk, I let myself be in a funk.
This stems from the notion that we suffer because we accidentally allow ourselves to suffer.
We resist the suffering. We don’t want to feel badly. We don’t want to feel like we are off course or struggling.
Yet-what if we decided that when we felt these emotions, we embraced them. We embraced them in a way that even supported them.
Do you think I’m crazy yet?
Hear me out:
I’m currently in a funk right now (that’s what sparked me to write this post). The first thing that I did when I recognized said funk is that I made the conscious decision to support it.
I told myself, “Okay Eva, be in a funk.”
What this creates is a sense of oneness between myself and that funk. It means that I don’t see that funk as a part of me-but simply as a passing phase.
What happens when we look at our funk as a passing phase is: we realize that that is all it is. Our funk is just a passing phase.
If somebody ran up to you right now and told you that there was a storm on its way and nobody would be able to leave their house for two days, what would you do?
You’d run to the store, grab some beer or wine (snacks are a smart choice too), and you’d go home and wait out the storm.
You wouldn’t say, “NO! I refuse for this storm to pass.”
People would think you were crazy. You can fight the storm with all of your might but chances are you'll just end up wet, cold, and windburned. Now this storm has caused an even GREATER effecter on your life than it had if you had just burrow in, turned on your Netflix and had a few nights to yourself.
Now think of this funk as that storm. Sometimes it just happens and it ends up being out of our control. Your job during this storm of funky vibes is to do your best to support YOU while it’s happening. Hunker down and do whatever you can to support yourself through this weird phase of crumminess.
This means you buy yourself dinner, you take a long nap, you do anything that is completley and totally selfish and is just for YOU.
For me funks happen when I burn myself out by working to hard and not allowing the creative part of my mind to take a breather.
By using this mentality, I’ve been able to get out of the biggest funk of my life: the funk of not knowing what I wanted to do with my life.
I made a conscious decision that it was okay that I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life.
That was the summer of 2016. Today is March 22nd, 2017 and I have quit my waitressing job and am now a freelance writer, social media manager, blogger, and am launching a podcast this week.
I owe where I am to the habit of embracing my funks.
Without it, I wouldn’t have learned the empowerment that comes with embracing every aspect of your life. I would have never known that by supporting even the phases of your life that you’d rather cry and whine about (I first tried crying and whining-then tried embracing the funks…the latter worked significantly better) you will gain everything that you are asking for.
So here I am, embracing my funk by allowing myself to feel disheartened, overwhelmed, and overworked. I consistently tell myself it’s okay to feel this way.
And you know what happens?
The funk starts to evaporate into thin air. Supporting the passing funk phases (that sounds weird but roll with me) of your life does this weird, strange thing-it makes it go away faster.
I woke up this morning and realized I was in a funk. Within an hour I decided that I was totally okay with this funk and that I was down to support whatever it was asking of me.
I even wrote an Instagram post about it:
Then I went to my favorite coffee shop, splurged on a fancy coffee and sat down to do whatever I wanted.
And tomorrow-I’ll do the same thing. Granted I have work, I’ll do everything before and after that time to make sure that I am supporting my funky vibes to the fullest extent.
From many previous trials, I know exactly what will happen. My funk will evaporate before I know it and instead of suffering while I’m in this funk I’ll actually be enjoying myself. I’ll be doing all the things that I love. I’ll be showing myself how much I care and love FOR MYSELF.
And that my friends, is where you plant your roots and grow to your fullest potential.
Read more about the weird parts of my life that I love to embrace: My First Travel Failure.
Here's the book that started it all for me:
Here are my key take aways:
1. Life is literally what you decide you want it to be
2. Nothing is actually ever changing just your emotions on it are
3. You mind is either your greatest tool or worst enemy-and you are the one who decides