Somewhere along the journey from learning how to walk to figuring out what it means to “adult”-something got really messed up.
I’m not talking about spilled milk here. I’m talking blood and tears.
There was a point in your life and my life where we decided that we cared about what other people thought about us and we were going to let it hold us back.
There’s a few ways to worry about how people perceive you like: wanting them to think you’re nice, smart, and attractive.
Then there’s something deeper.
For the longest time I wanted people to think that I was normal. That I wasn’t an outlier. That I was capable of normalcy.
I struggled with this so hard it’s unimaginable. It’s the reason that I spent four years in college with no idea what my next step was. It’s the reason that I tried to get a 9–5 job when I graduated.
It’s the reason why I was failing myself.
Pretty much from the time that I turned 12, I decided that I wanted to be as average as possible. That I didn’t want to stick out, I didn’t want extra attention, and I just wanted to be normal.
The joke was clearly on me, considering that at 25 years old I’ve realized that for all of those years I was the person in the way of my own success.
I was the one who put my own wants, desires, needs, goals, passions, and dreams on the back burner. I was the one who TRIED to make a 9–5 work when I knew that I wasn’t ever meant to fit that mold.
It was me, who was judging me for not being normal enough.
Today one of my best friends decided to launch her own blog. As she was texting me to ask for some pointers, she told me that she’d had an Instagram account for her blog for months now but had been too scared to promote it.
Immediately I remembered what it was like to launch my blog and Instagram. I felt so vulnerable and like everybody was watching me just waiting for me to quit or fail.
What I’ve come to realize, is that this was just a figment of my imagination.
We don’t worry about what other people think about us.
We worry about what we think other people think about us.
It’s not our parents, siblings, friends, ex’s, or high school classmate’s THOUGHTS that hold us back.
It’s our perception of what WE think THEY are thinking about us.
Somehow along the way, we decided that we knew what other people were thinking.
So if that was my own decision to make, wouldn’t that mean that I’m the one in charge of changing my mind?
Whatever we allow to happen in our minds is going to be a direct reflection on our reality.
Let’s look at it this way
In my mind: I think that people doubt my ability to be successful
In reality: I have trouble being successful
Considering that we’ve realized that I’m the one in charge, what if I decided that everybody who’s opinion I was scared of that stumbled upon my blog and podcast, totally supported it?
In my mind: People support my ventures and think that I’m doing a great job.
In reality: My ventures are finding success and I’m doing a great job.
Even if somebody flat out tells you that they think what you are doing is stupid-chances are the words coming from their mouths are not the words they are thinking in their minds.
Take a look at this helpful diagram via Casey Neistat (the man, the myth, the legend).
There is so much blood and tears in our lives who’s blame lies in us assuming that we know what others are thinking.
Once we realize that we are just assuming-we realize that the judgements of others have absolutely no power over us.
Who’s to say that people aren’t reading your writing and wishing that they had that innate talent? Or scrolling through your Instagram and wishing that they had bolted from the 9–5 and taken the path that you did?
So why choose to eat a rotten fruit when you can eat a perfectly ripe one?
The choice my friends, is yours.
Want to see what happened when I stopped caring what people thought about me and the way I was living my life?