So I've had a few challenging days. Nothing wild involving life altering events but just little things that seem to be adding up to this big ugly monster that is pissing me off.
Yes. I get pissed off and then because I am me I get pissed off because I'm pissed off.
I get annoyed with myself for being pissed off and then I grow that ugly monster even larger than it was and then it continues on.
So I was thinking today, if I'm aware of my thoughts and I'm aware that I'm allowing myself to be annoyed than technically I should know better than to continue being annoyed.
But...I'm still annoyed.
So I'm asking myself, what is making me annoyed? Small inconveniences that are adding on to each other. That's it. Simply put.
I couldn't go to the gym as early as I wanted to. When I got there there weren't any parking spots available. When I came home my house was really dirty. The bowl I wanted to use for my salad was dirty. Small, tiny things that don't matter but still annoy us.
So there I was contemplating why I was annoyed about these things when I knew that I didn't have control of them. I was a flustered mess because everything just seemed to be going wrong.
Then I had an epiphany.
Yesterday I went to go to REI to look at backpacks for my trip next year and I went with my friend and her boyfriend. We drove for about ten minutes before they realized they didn't have time to go all the way there and wait for me to find the right backpack before they had to be back for dinner plans. So we turned around and I ended up driving over to the store like forty five minutes later than I had initially wanted. It definitely wasn't ideal.
I finally got to REI and I ended up being helped by someone who was not only really helpful but so enjoyable to be around. It ended up being a good experience even though I was alone and I was able to get the exact help that I needed to pick the right backpack.
If we had all gone together it wouldn't have been the same. I wouldn't have been able to get the one on one advice I was able to and I wouldn't have been able to talk to the guy helping me about his adventures and suggestions for my trip. There's no promise that I would have even been helped by him and I could have left feeling lost and confused instead of certain and decisive.
It just all comes down to realizing that everything is working out for our favor. Whether it takes us longer to get to the gym, we have to use a different bowl for our food, anything little-sometimes it makes a huge difference.
When we're in the middle of feeling like the universe is against us is when we lose touch with our souls. We lose touch with who are are and we let our human flaw take over. The flaw that allows us to disconnect from our hearts and our soul and let's us be okay with being selfish in negative ways that terribly effect us and others.
Sometimes it's really really hard to keep our cool when it feels like nothing can go right but it really comes down to sticking to our morals and our beliefs and saying, "Okay, these few moments have been really shitty but I'm going to continue to choose kindness, generosity, and love before any other emotion when thinking to myself and talking to others."
These annoyances are temporary but our reaction can be permanent.
We can say or do things that resonate much longer than our annoyances. It's been a few hours since I was initially annoyed and now that I'm coming back in touch and pushing that negative energy of being pissed off away from me, the thing I'm happiest about is that I didn't allow me being annoyed to effect anyone else around me.
I still held the door for someone coming behind me. I wasn't rude to anyone else in retaliation of how badly my day seemed to be going. I stuck to my guns and continued to channel my positivity and good vibes even though I couldn't feel an ounce in me.
Sometimes you will have no idea that everything is working perfectly for you until after it has worked perfectly for you. Then you look back and think wow, if my friend and her boyfriend hadn't had dinner plans I might have been helped by someone that wasn't going to put as much effort into me finding a backpack as the man who helped me did. Or maybe there wouldn't have even been anyone to help me.
There's power in the little things. The little things that can annoy us but the little things that can make us see the light.
That's where the trust comes in. When you can physically see things working in your favor even though you initially thought they were doing the opposite.
We can't take these small inconveniences too seriously. We have to find the humor and we have to keep living as we were so we continue to send out good vibes and good vibes continue to come back to us.
Even when it seems like nothing is going our way the reality is that it's going exactly the way that it should be.
So keep your faith in the process and wait patiently for the other shoe to drop-the shoe that will explain exactly why things went the way they did and make you say "ohhhhhhh, I get it now."