The only thing between you and your dreams is the imaginary wall standing in your way.
A few months ago I decided that if I was going to be spending so much time on social media all the time (I don’t even think I can call it a guilty pleasure anymore-I’m thinking hobby works best) that I may as well make it worth my time.
I filled my feed to the brim with positive accounts that inspired me to find my passion, follow my goals, and truly live a beautiful life.
What I found was three genuine accounts that in different ways inspire me daily to stay true to myself, to take action on things that I’m passionate about, and to be a badass along the way.
Here’s the scoop:
I was there.
I would read about this thing called “inner peace” everywhere and would think about how great it would be to be able to relate to that.
Inner me was far from peaceful.
I was 23 years old and feeling completely lost.
Yes I had been raised in a great family and yes I had supportive friends and yes I was living quite a good life in comparison to the hands that others had been dealt. I knew all of this and somehow it made me angrier.
It made me mad at myself for not being grateful for all of the great things that had been placed so perfectly in my life.
It made me feel as if I was dramatic in saying that I was completely and totally lost and felt like I had no direction.
It made me who I am today.
I walked across that stage and I felt a newfound freedom.
I felt like the world was my oyster. I was done spending days studying for exams, I was done with homework assignments and my time was mine.
Yet, that was exactly the problem.
I had been so used to always being told what my time would be spent on (class, homework, exams, projects) that I didn’t know what it was like to be free to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.
All of that time started adding up and suddenly I realized that I was constantly thinking about my future because I had all the time in the world to do so.
I would think about what my next step was while I was at my waitressing job. I would think about where I should apply for jobs while I laid in bed at night. I would think about how far away I was from accomplishing anything that I wanted to as soon as I woke up in the morning.
When I look back to those awkward months following my graduation from college, I think of all the things that I wish I had known that could have put me at ease.
We all want to be good at something. There’s a hell of a lot of somethings that people can be good at but it’s not always easy to find your something.
This past year has taught me a lot about becoming a writer, an influencer, a friend, and a family member but there’s an even bigger lesson that has resonated with me for months after I opened my eyes to it.
This year I learned how to master myself.
I learned that life wasn’t only happening to me. My life wasn’t this huge compilation of events that happened to me as much as my life was the accumulation of my reactions to those events.
When I thought I didn’t have money, I had no money. When I switched the gears and decided I was only going to think in the mindset that I did have money, I started to have money.
When I didn’t do anything I liked and only worked at a job that didn’t make me happy, I was unhappy and felt completely lost. When I started doing things that I liked every single day (some big and some tiny) and quit the job that was making me unhappy and gave it a shot at a new job, I was happy and felt like I was fulfilling my purpose.
You’re probably thinking, how can love have a language?
Yes-love is a universal language and there are a multitude of ways to show someone you love them but that’s exactly where most of us fail.
Pretend you’re holding an old bucket full of flower petals. The petals are pink, red and white and you love how they make you feel when you look at their simple beauty.
Now pretend your significant other (or friend or family member) walks up to your bucket and starts taking handfuls of those flower petals and putting them in their own bucket. At first you don’t mind because you love them and you don’t mind sacrificing something that makes you feel good so that they too can feel good.
Suddenly you notice that your bucket only has a handful of flower petals left in it. The rust on the bottom of the bucket is starting to show and you realize that this bucket isn’t much without the beauty of all of the petals. To your dismay-your significant other takes every single last flower petal and leaves you standing there holding on to a dirty old bucket.
When you ask your partner to give some of your petals back so that you BOTH can enjoy their beauty, instead of handing you the petals that they originally took from you they hand you back a different kind. These petals aren’t nearly as beautiful as the ones you had and it immediately makes you feel like your partner is just taking from you and not appreciating what you are giving.
This is where the five love languages can save your relationship with a significant other, family member, or friend.
We all have them. We all want them to come true.
They keep us up at night. They’re like a nagging little sister that won’t stop until you pay attention to her.
It’s the feeling that you want to chase. The feeling of fulfillment, purpose, and passion.
For me, this feeling is that of helping others to connect to their passions and to show them tangible steps they can take to get themselves there.
Through a serious series of trail and error I’ve found the top four daily power moves that have helped me to accelerate my growth, both personally and career wise.
I’ve tried the whole making your bed everyday thing, I’ve tried eating a healthy breakfast every morning, and I’ve tried getting 8 hours of sleep a night.
The reality is that all of these things really help but they won’t accelerate you much farther than you can throw a football (if you’re me that’s about three feet in front of you).
Here’s where the magic really happens:
I’m starting to learn that conscious living is in art and with that comes this realization that I’m the artist.
Everyday it’s up to me and only me (not my parents, spouse, friends, coworkers, or even strangers) to pick up that paint brush and create a masterpiece of a day.
If I consciously choose to have a negative day by getting mad at the car in front of me, picking a fight with a significant other for no reason, or being rude to a stranger then I’m subconsciously creating a life where cars are always cutting me off, my significant other doesn’t care enough about me, and a world where there are no good people left.
Painters don’t put black paint on their brush and expect to paint a rainbow. It’s just not possible.
The same goes for our lives.
Too many times we are the reason for our own bad days and we don’t even know.
I haven’t always been naturally happy. A few months ago I was writing in my journal and the first words that came out were “I feel lost.” I couldn’t figure out what else to write and for some reason I started to flip through the pages into past things that I had written. I flipped back to the first entry that I had written, about 6 months prior and I almost burst out into tears when I read the first sentence.
“I feel lost.”
This made me devastated. My initial thought was “Wtf! How long am I going to feel lost for? How much longer of this do I have?”
So I decided to take matters into my own hands and make a conscious decision to make myself happier. I wish I could say that I was some kind of genius that walked away from that decision happy as a clam but it took another 2 months before I could genuinely say “I am happy.”
What changed from me feeling lost to me being happy ninety nine percent of the time?