How I Got From Being Unhappy And Lost To Fulfilled and In Love With My Life

First you make your habits, then your habits make you.
— John Dryden

I was an AVID reader when I was a child. 

Those long Harry Potter books had nothing on me. I could sit for hours in silence just reading (you're welcome Mom) and I wouldn't think twice about it. 

Once I hit high school and college though it all went out the window. I was too busy reading textbooks to have the time to pick up a book that I wanted to read and that interested me. 

My avid reading habits died out and only came back in the middle of my college years. 

Something in me had this interest in reading Treasure Yourself by Miranda Kerr. It was a super easy read and it was the first thing to spark my interest in the whole idea behind how powerful our thoughts really and how much of an effect they have on our lives. I thought that if Miranda Kerr, a famous supermodel, was using these tricks then I probably should to considering she had some serious success. 

From a picture in Treasure Yourself I got pointed in the direction of Louis Hay. I started diving deeper into these ideas of thoughts creating our lives and even more so healing disease.

I stayed slightly skeptical for a bit but I started focusing on banishing all the judgmental thoughts from my head. I wouldn't let myself think mean things about anyone else let alone say them. I decided that I wanted be a light and not a darkness. It's here that a fire ignited in me to follow my passions and not go the main stream.

I read a few more books, I worked through some personal issues, and I did my best to keep my head up even when I felt frustrated and like I had no clue what to do with my life.

When I look back on those years (I started when I was 20 and at about 24 years old I'm officially getting a grip on things) I want to go back in time and give myself this massive hug and say everything is going to be okay. You are meant to go through this and you're going to come out this epic, smart, and capable person. 

I'm incredibly grateful to myself for pushing through in the awkward years between knowing I didn't want to go mainstream with my life  (40 hour work week, set vacation time, mortgage, etc.) and what I wanted to do. 

For everyone that is in those awkward years where you don't know what you want to do but you know what you don't want to do, you have to keep pushing through. Stay patient, kind, and compassionate to yourself and to others. 

That time between becoming aware that you can't follow the path that you assumed you would follow from a young child to finding your path is frustrating, lonely, scary, and sometimes miserable.

I remember spending days just legitimately sad. I felt exhausted and like life had sucked everything happy and positive from me. I even went to a job interview for a job I knew I would hate because I thought it was the right thing to do. 

What I continued to do during this time was crucial.

I kept reading. No matter my budget I would buy a book even if I really didn't have the $12 to spend on it. I kept learning and I kept building my mind. I read The Inside Out Revolution, The Power Of Now, The Space Within, anything that made me realize how much our minds were a part of our reality. It didn't take me long to realize something epic.

I realized that months would go by without me doing anything I really enjoyed. How did that even make sense? Here I was complaining and crying about how unhappy I was when I was physically doing nothing to make myself happy. 

I stopped that. I made two lists: Things I Want To Do Everyday and Things I To Do Everyday. I added at least one from the I want to do list to the I do list. 

And it changed my life.

Slowly but surely I kept adding in things that I wanted to do and that genuinely made me happy. Things like writing, learning SEO, eating healthy (I'm a dork I know), working out (I wasn't kidding), bullshitting with friends, anything no matter how small it was. Even if I only had time for one of thing I would make sure I did that one thing.

Want to know something cool?

My life became those things. As I added them they stopped being inconvenient or something that I felt I went out of my way to do and they just became a part of my new routine. Then I made another list and did the same thing. At this point I could make the list in my head and say, "Oh yeah! I've been meaning to add more of this into my life." I would do it then rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. 

It's come to the point where I feel completely opposite. I've now hit the point where I am removing things that I don't enjoy. Where I can say okay, by next February I plan to quit my hourly job and only be freelancing/blogging and here's what I'm going to do daily to do that. 

Those daily things make me so happy it's insane. If I didn't like to see my growth and I didn't get such a high off of collaborating with like minded people and becoming bigger in the blogging world I could say that I would be happy to stay where I am. Which I think for many people is their vibe. Once they hit a certain plateau they are okay with staying there and that's totally fine. 

We all deserve the chance to reach that plateau where we can decide that wow life is damn good or we can keep on reaching higher. 

It's up to you and you only to prove to yourself that you deserve that. That you deserve to be happy and to wake up excited everyday. That at least once a day there is something you are excited to do and that will leave you with a buzz for a few hours (hopefully longer). 

I don't have super powers and I'm a pretty average person. If I can do this I know that everyone else can to. I know that everyone can live happily and be fulfilled. I know that everyone has that potential in them and I'm here to release it. 

Do what you need to do to start building your dream life. A life of happiness, contentment, laughs, experiences, and overall good vibes. You deserve it and you can pull it off-so spread your wings and start flying!