Straight answer? Because you don't know yourself.
Yeah that sounds like it doesn't make any sense but honestly it's true. Okay, I get it you're asking me how it is possible that YOU can't know who YOU are. Well, unfortunately it's very possible and it's a plague that surrounds far too many of us.
Here's the thing: We're unhappy because we aren't doing things that make us happy.
You can agree with that right? Look at it as an incredibly simple mathematical equation that does not require a doctorate to understand:
Doing things that make you happy = You are happy
When I was working in a doctor's office and sitting at a desk for 40 hours a week I was really unhappy. I felt lost, confused, and in a daze as to what the hell the point of life was if this is what I had to look forward to for the rest of my days. When I told people I worked at a doctor's office as his assistant they would always say things like, "Wow, that's awesome!" "That's an amazing opportunity!" But you know what? It didn't feel like that-at all.
I felt trapped and jaded by life. When I saw on social media how other people my age were living their life it frustrated the hell out of me. Why wasn't I where they were? How come I couldn't have the opportunities that they had?
I wish I could say I figured out the answer to all of this within a few short moments, days, or months but it took me a few years. Lucky for you it doesn't have to take you that long to figure out the trick to happiness and fulfillment because I'm more than happy to lay it out for you.
Now, you might be thinking I'm going to tell you to quit your desk job, go travel the world, and follow your dreams. Well yes, I completely support that and if anyone is in the midst of doing this email me and tell me all about your experience because you are a badass human that I want to connect with.
That's a huge step and I TOTALLY think everyone should take it-but while you're figuring your way out to that kind of life changing action there are so many other things that you can do to make yourself happy right here right now.
Imagine that you have a plant that has just sprouted from the dirt. Its stem is weak and its leaves are itty bitty. You have been put in charge of taking care of this little plant which you're okay with because admittedly it's really cute.
What would you do daily to make this plant grow?
I'm not a plant specialist but if someone handed me this little plant I would certainly assume that I should water it so that it can continue to grow and not wilt away into a heap of dried plant matter.
So everyday I would water it and on special days I might even put it in the sun for a bit. In a few weeks time it would become stronger and its leaves would grow bigger. One day I'll even have to move it outside because it has grown to large for its pot and I'll realize that I don't have to water it everyday because it has grown to learn how to get its own water from the environment around it.
What if I told you that your happiness is this adorable little plant? What if you realized that your happiness isn't something that you'll wake up with every single day and that you'll have in every solitary upcoming moment of your life.
What would happen if you put two and two together and realized that you have to feed your happiness daily in order to be happy daily.
And then, what if I told you that as you continued to feed your happiness you'll have to put less and less effort into making sure you're happy because you'll have learned exactly what it takes to make you happy and unsurprisingly you'll naturally be doing all of those things.
So what did I mean when I said that you're unhappy because you don't know yourself?
I mean that you have to get out of your own way and learn what it is that makes you happy.
We don't always know what makes us tick. Yet, we are the only ones who can figure this out for ourselves.
For me it's learning and creating. If I'm not making enough time for myself to learn and listen to others opinions and perspectives I start to feel unfulfilled and unhappy. If I don't spend enough time being creative and writing I start to feel (you guessed it) unfulfilled and unhappy.
I didn't know this when I was born. And I still didn't know it a few months ago. I didn't know myself and I hadn't put any time into figuring out what made me tick.
Now that I understand that these two things are VITAL to my overrall well being I no longer feel lost in life. I can't tell you how impactful this has been. I understand the path that I'm on and better yet I can actually see that the things that make me happy are one day going to be my full time job, it's really f*cking cool.
If you're unhappy, make your number one priority to water your happiness plant. Do things that make you happy, even little things like going for hikes, eating a certain type of breakfast, getting your favorite kind of coffee, journaling, reading, meditating, riding your bike, anything that makes your heart feel happy.
Add things in one at a time, day by day, week by week, month by month. Create a commitment to adding things into your daily life that make you really really happy and then set a 6 month alarm on your phone so you can look back and realize how different your life already is. Now imagine what it will be like in a year? two years? a decade? Wooooooo that's crazy stuff!
Start watering your happiness plant today. Only you can water this plant so take charge and get to it.
As always, I invite all of my subscribers to email me if they're in need of some extra motivation or somebody to talk to about following their passions, I'm here to help you get not the right path to success and inevitable happiness! What are you doing to water your happiness plant today?